Evil
by MidnightMusic96
Summary: MinaKushi Minato is certain his wife is evil. She is an angel disguised as a devil. He monologues that his wife is evil and scares the crap out of him. Rated T for violence and minor swearing.


No. 35 Evil

Sometimes, I think my wife is evil. Not the 'not-making-coffee-in-the-morning-evil' but the 'I'm-going-to-rip-your-balls-off-evil." And this is not towards her. It's more towards anyone who ever tries to flirt with her or me, even to girls who don't even have balls. She can be entirely evil and scary.

Whenever she gets in that attitude, her chakra would flair up and with it her beautiful red hair. I felt remotely safe when it was directed at others, but when it was focused on me, I would shit my pants and want to run for my mommy. My wife was simply scary as hell. She could scare any of the previous Hokage into running for their mommies.

She's not always evil. She's had her gentle moments that remind me why I love her. The look she gets in her eyes whenever she picks up one of her friends' babies. The looks she gets whenever she sees her stomach and what lays in it, that baby growing in it. Those looks are what make her a gentle beast, even for a bit.

Kushina is an angel disguised as a devil. As angels go, she can be graceful, nice (mostly), and the best cook. Man, I can't get over her cooking. On my god, it is amazing. But when she gets angry, the devil side of her comes out. She can by gruesome, heartless, and all outright E.V.I.L!

One time, a few months before I was instated as Hokage, I saw her at her worse and it was NOT pretty for someone else, not me.

_I was on my way home from a mission with Kakashi and Fugaku. Mikoto and Kushina were over at our house. They were having a girl's weekend while the two of us were gone. They usual did that when we had missions where they didn't._

_I was halfway down Main Street with the other two when I saw Kushina in an argument with one of the shop owners. I noticed Mikoto sprawled on her back on the ground beside Kushina. _

"_You had absolutely no reason to ever lay a hand on her! Both her and my husbands alone could kill you, or if they wanted to, deform you. And such men do not marry such weak woman; they marry strong woman. Would you like me to dish back what you just dished out to my friend here?" Kushina hissed in his face._

"_I'm not afraid of a woman. I bet you are just a weak young woman who only inspires to be a ninja," the man replied with a sneer._

_I could see the smirk come across her face even from the distance we were apart by. She raised her hand and with a flick of her wrist, her fist collided directed with the side of his face. He flew sideways toward me._

_He groaned as he stood from the ground where he lay. I exchanged a glance with Fugaku and we both smirked as the man finally got to his feet. "Guess who their husbands are?" I asked him folding my arms across my chest._

_He stared at us in shock. "Y-You're M-Minato, the Yellow Flash. And y-you're Fugaku the Uchiha leader," he said backing up._

"_Now tell me, what you did to them to get my wife so angry?" I asked getting right in his face and holding the collar of his shirt so he couldn't run anywhere. _

"_I-I didn't do anything to them," he stammered holding up his arms in defense. _

"_Bullshit, he slapped Mikoto across the face and she's pregnant," Kushina yelled as she helped Mikoto come over. "She already has bad ankles from the pregnancy, and she didn't expect the slap," Kushina explained angrily._

_Simply the look she was giving the man, she scared the crap out of me, but Mikoto's safety far surpassed my fear of my wife. Everyone knows not to hit a pregnant woman. "Tell us what you did," Fugaku snapped at the man. He took Mikoto from Kushina and held her close to him._

"_I may have raised my hand to her, but she kept bugging me by asking if they had a shirt in a larger size. It was annoying, and I may have slapped her because of it," the man said quickly. Fugaku growled but held back because Mikoto was in his arms. He also knew we could handle it._

"_She's pregnant, P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T pregnant!" Kushina yelled at him. "Of course she's going to ask for a larger size!"_

"_To be honest, I just thought she was fat," he replied weakly._

_Kushina lost it. I had to hold her back from killing him. He fell to the floor on his butt when I dropped him. Calling a woman fat not only to her but her husband and her friends was unforgivable. Knowing she couldn't hurt him, she straightened up and spat in his face, "I'm taking this to the Hokage. Say goodbye to your shop." With that said, she stormed off._

Looking back on that incident now, I was surprised that I hadn't been scared of her. She had just been radiating rage and death towards him. He did get fired and in turn he moved out of the village when I became Hokage. She was so happy about that.

You should have seen the look on her face when Naruto was born. I think that was probably the most angelic she ever looked. Sure, her hair was disheveled from twelve hours of childbirth. I wasn't in that good of shape either, having to hold the seal the entire twelve hours while our baby was born.

"_C'mon Kushina, you're almost there," Biwako encouraged her. Biwako was her midwife and was also Sandiame's wife. Kushina cried out once more, and for a second, my attention moved from the seal to her sweat-covered face. She looked like she was in so much pain. At the moment, I was so glad I wasn't a woman and didn't have to face the horrors of childbirth._

"_I've fixed the seal," I told Biwako. She had turned away to clean our baby. "Can we see our baby?"_

"_Of course you can. It is a boy," Biwako said as she handed me our baby boy. I went over and knelt by Kushina's side and held him up to her._

"_Naruto… his name is Naruto," she said breathlessly._

"_Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze…" I tested on my tongue. "I love it. Welcome to the family Naruto." I kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes. He had my eyes and my hair. I wonder what he got from his beautiful mother._

_I helped Kushina sit up farther and handed little Naruto to her. "Hi Naruto, it's your mommy. You look just like your father it's outstanding. I hope you inherit my love for ramen and pranks. Your father hates it but I hope you do anyway," she whispered. I chuckled._

"_Don't listen to your mother," I chuckled as I sat on the side of her bed. My exhaustion was gone. She hit me with the back of her hand, glaring at me playfully. I just laughed harder and she began to pout._

_Naruto began to cry. Kushina began to bounce him in her arms. I suddenly sensed someone approaching. I got up from my seat and went to the entrance. I held a kunai at the ready. No one is supposed to know we are here. Whoever it was will most likely die. No one is getting in the way of my son and me._

_I peered around the corner and caught sight of Fugaku, Mikoto, young Itachi, and baby Sasuke. I sighed as I returned the kunai to its pouch and stepped outside to greet them. "What are you doing here?" I asked._

"_Is that anyway to greet your best friend and your wife's best friend?" Mikoto returned smiling in an evil sweet way. I rolled my eyes._

"_Okay, how did you know we were here," I asked again._

"_It's not hard to miss Kushina's chakra. Everyone in the village probably knows you're here. Everyone is just too afraid to face a woman in childbirth," Fugaku said with his famous Uchiha smirk plastered on his face. I shoved him. I led the family inside._

"_Honey, who is it?" Kushina yelled._

"_You're annoying best friend and her family," I shouted back. Mikoto hit me in the same place Kushina did. I held it in pain._

_We entered the room, and it was as if the light hit her just right that she looked exactly like an angel. It was like I had died and gone to heaven._

I have to admit, Kushina is the most beautiful woman in my world but, she and most other woman, our evil. Period. There is no difference and no exceptions. Even Hiashi's so sweet wife can be evil. Let's just say, you accidently walk in on a girl's sleepover and see just how evil a woman can be. Trust me, it's not pretty.

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><p><strong>I loved writing this. It was fun to get inside Minato's head about woman in general. Please Review. I love to read them.<strong>

**~Ja Mata Ne**


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